Preparing your child for a new brother or sister: 6 practical tips

A new baby is joining the family. You can see and feel the pregnancy, but a toddler or preschooler may still have little idea what a baby inside a belly actually means. One day your child wants to know everything; the next, playing outside matters far more.

There is no need for a strict preparation plan. Explain what is going to happen, involve your child where it makes sense, and let the subject drop sometimes too. These six tips can help.

1. Tell your child about the baby in good time

Choose a moment when you are not in a hurry and explain in simple words that a baby is joining your family. Try to do this before relatives and friends hear the news, so your child does not find out by accident from someone else.

Do not expect a big conversation. After one question, your child may simply go back to playing. A pregnancy also feels endless to young children. “In five months” means little, while “after summer” or “close to Christmas” gives them something they know. Bring it up now and then and see what questions follow.

4. Use photos, a doll, and picture books

Look at your child’s own baby photos together. How tiny were those feet? Could your child walk yet? Who gave them a bottle? With a doll, you can show how to hold a baby and why you need to be gentle.

Picture books work for the same reason: you can point to something and talk about it straight away. In a personalized BoekjesAtelier book, your child is the main character. Their name and appearance return, and your family or a favourite cuddly toy can become part of the story too. Your child sees themselves beside mum’s belly, choosing something for the baby, or meeting their new sibling. That often prompts very direct reactions: “That’s me!” or “Will I do that too?”

Feel free to stop at an illustration and ask what your child can see. A book does not need to become a lesson. Here is an example of a personalized story: Becoming a big brother or sister? How to gently prepare your child for a new baby

Want to compare several picture books first? Take a look at: The best books about becoming a big brother or big sister

5. Explain what will happen when the baby is born

Explain beforehand what you already know about the day of the birth. Who will be with your child, where will they sleep, and when will they see you again? Leave some room around details that are not certain yet.

The first meeting may not go as you pictured it either. The baby might be asleep or crying, or may not be ready to sit on your child’s lap. Your child can look first, ask a question, or stay close to mum, dad, or another adult they know.

6. Make room for every feeling after the birth

A child who wanted to stroke the baby a minute ago may get angry as soon as you start feeding. Or suddenly want to be carried again. A lot has changed at home, and the reaction will not always come at a convenient time.

You do not have to fix it immediately. Say what is happening instead: “You wanted to play with me and now I need to help the baby first. That is frustrating.” Find a little time later in the day to read together, go outside, or sit on the sofa.

Keep one or two regular things going where you can, such as the bedtime routine or breakfast together. Ask someone your child knows well to step in if you cannot manage that for a while.

Preparation helps, but the real adjustment starts once the baby is there. It takes time for your child, and probably for you too.